Dirty Games
by mizzchambers
Summary: so basically clare send nude pics to a random guy and as a result this happend...btw in the story she's in 8th grade. (two-shot)
1. Dirty Games

**Dirty Games**

I feel used and useless; like I can't trust anybody anymore. As if someone bought me, only to break me, then shove me in the back of their closet, leaving me to be wanted another day. I wanted to believe what we were doing was nothing much, but it was more than that. It was a big deal for me. I didn't know if I was ready, but I was willing to find out; curious of how things would turn out. I wasn't ready and I fully well had known that. I let a guy I didn't know pressure me into something I didn't want to do. It was since then I had created a new life for myself. I didn't know if I should keep living the way I was; scared and oblivious to the world's dangers. So I gave my new life a chance; I became a slut.

The second time it happened I wanted to be ready. I gave some thought into it and I chose the person to do it with, carefully. We had begun playing games. At first we were just joking, but then we got serious, too serious for my liking, but we talked about it. For that one moment I felt like he's the person I've needed to trust. I told him everything; from what went wrong the first time, if I would ever do it again, and was he the right person to do it with?

"Harmless Fun", was the game he was playing, "Trust and Confidence", was the game I played. I was near to my victory, being able to win the great prize, then out of nowhere I was blinded, and then stripped. Stripped of everything I knew. I was nothing anymore. I lost to his game and my own. He's seen all of me, I'm not ashamed, and I do not feel guilty. I'm not exactly sure what I'm feeling, but I do know I want to change, I know it's for the best. I need to change back to what I was before. There was a reason I was hidden from the world and now I know it. I feel like I'm doing something wrong to feel right. I never thought I'd do any of the things I've done. I'm going to force myself to believe everything is going to be alright, even if I don't fully understand how. With the help of my wonderful friends, I have found my problem and going through this together, we have found a solution. I don't regret what I did, I regret wanting to do it again.


	2. Her Mind Running Still

Her Mind Running Still

She sits there, only hearing the voices of others; running through her mind. 'Why did you do it?' 'Are you crazy?' 'You know its bad right?' 'What if he found out where you lived?' 'It's dangerous you know that?' Every single day the same questions are asked and scarred in her head they will be. Like a record held to replay, she hears those questions. She can't answer any of those questions for the answers were too shameful.

She is tormented in math class every single day; disgusted looks, background whispering and rumors spread. It was worse than she intended. She never meant for it to be the way it is. She only told her friends because she needed someone to be here for her. Little did she know she'd be the dirty little eighth grade secret people were ashamed of.

She can't cry, she can't move, she's paralyzed every time the flash backs fast forward through her mind. She is only a child, scared, wanting someone to hold her and tell her everything is going to be alright. One can only wish. A blanket and a teddy bear are her true friends; they've been there all her life. They have always been by her side listening to every word she said, as if they were commanded to. They catch her tears when they fall and for a moment, just take her back to her childhood; a time when she was happy. They've been the only thing giving her strength to carry on.

She feels as if her life was torn; her parents are divorced and she doesn't know her reason for existence anymore. Wondering daily, as she sits there looking at her teddy bear and blanket, if they could speak, what would they say to her? Day by day she asks that question, as she recites her day to them, and they just stare, feeding her silence.


End file.
